When to Care About What Other People Think

As kids, we’re often told not to care about what other people think. This advice usually continues well into adulthood. Phrases such as, “Go against the grain!”, “Don’t listen to what anyone says, go for it!”, “Haters gonna hate, you do you”, “Drown out the noise. Be strong. Be independent.” appear as common motivational refrains throughout the United States.

In most cases, this is great advice. You should never let haters or other malicious people tell you how to live your life. You should never let the fear of upsetting others hold you back.

However, it’s not always wise to tune out the opinions of the people around you. There are some situations where taking a moment to listen to the thoughts of a colleague, mentor, or relative can be advantageous. 

Why? Because sometimes other people can see things you can’t. Listening to their opinions can give you a perspective that would be impossible to achieve on your own.

Think, for a moment, about a golfer. They walk to their ball and take a couple of practice swings. They then line up their shot, lift the club above their head, and swing through the golf ball.

They believe they did everything right. And yet, their ball hooks left into some trees.

So, what went wrong? Did they not grip the club firmly enough? Were they off-balance? Did they take their eye off the ball too early?

The golfer has no way of knowing. They cannot see their own swing. It’s just not possible.

The only way the golfer can identify their issue, fix their swing, and improve their golf game is by listening to the opinion of a knowledgeable coach. 

If you’re struggling to reach the next level of your career, you may also benefit from the thoughts of another person.

Your partner might be able to help you see strengths you didn’t know you have. A coworker may be able to show you a better way to complete your tasks. A mentor might be able to improve the way you approach challenges.

You certainly wouldn’t be the first person to get a career boost after listening to another person. 

I had a great mentor early in my career. He saw potential in me that I didn’t see myself. He once told me, “You could run a department one day!” 

I was “a nobody” in the organization at the time. I had never even been a people manager. But he saw fledgling leadership skills in me. He took the time to call them out, and it totally changed the trajectory of my career. I wouldn’t be where I am today if I hadn’t listened to what he had to say.

So, the next time you are struggling with a project or need help coming up with a new idea, don’t be afraid to reach out to another person. Just make sure they:

• Have your best interest at heart

• Don’t have ulterior motives, and

• Are willing to give you honest feedback

The thoughts of a trusted friend, colleague, or coach could just change your life! 

For more insights like this, sign up for my newsletter!

About The Author

Emily Sander is an ICF-certified leadership coach with more than 15 years of experience in the business world and the author of Hacking Executive Leadership. She’s been featured in several print publications, online articles, and podcasts, including CEO Today Magazine, Leading to Fulfillment, and Leadership Powered by Common Sense. 

Emily has a passion for helping business leaders reach their full potential. Go here to read her story from seasoned executive to knowledgeable coach. If you want to send Emily a quick message, then visit her contact page here.