How One Word Can Plant a Seed: Growing Your Leadership Tree
The Power of Words
I was lucky enough to have a great mentor early on in my career. I was working in a “lead” position, just one step up from entry level. I was a relative “nobody” in the office. I had one small, specific touchpoint with customers. Occasionally, I would debrief senior leadership on what I was seeing and hearing from customers. From those interactions, one of the executives saw something in me—the potential for leadership—and took me under his wing.
He’d talk to me about other parts of the business and how it all fit together. We walked through client contracts so I understood the key terms and what to look out for. He’d let me bounce ideas off him. We talked about the skills I had, what I did well, and what I could work on to reap the most benefit.
In one of our meetings he said, almost offhandedly, “Well, you could run that department one day.” To me, he might as well have said, “Well, you could fly to Mars one day.” It was completely outside what I understood was possible for me.
I didn’t even believe him at that moment. I think I actually looked over my shoulder to see if someone else had walked into the room. When I turned back around, I looked at him like he had three heads. He chuckled and said, “Maybe not today, but one day.”
I might have walked away shaking my head at the time, but what he said planted a seed in my mind. Because he was saying it—an accomplished, experienced, highly professional senior executive—I thought maybe it was true. Simply by introducing this idea into my mind, he expanded what I understood to be possible for myself.
Over time, that seed began to germinate and sprout. I began to lean more towards a management role. Not long after, in part thanks to a recommendation from my mentor, I was promoted and tasked with building the very first international Client management team the company had ever had.
Shortly after my promotion, I met with my mentor. I told him how appreciative I was and how much the conversation we’d had meant to me. I asked if there was any way I could repay him. Without missing a bit, he said, “Yes, there is. Pay it forward. From now on, you’re going to have opportunities to open doors for people they can’t open for themselves. If you see potential in someone, open a door. After I got my big break, I asked my mentor the same thing. He told me to pay it forward. So now I’m telling you.”
I made it my mission to look for those opportunities, and I talk to people on my teams about doing it too. Years later, when I was preparing to leave that company, I knew one of my direct reports would be a great internal hire to fill my role. He wasn’t the obvious choice, and he never would have considered it for himself. But after speaking with him and making his case to leadership, I was able to tell him he got the role on my last day. That was a great last day!
When I look back, having a mentor like I did when I did made a huge difference. That one offhand comment stuck with me and changed the way I thought about myself and my own potential. It changed the trajectory of my career and my life.
Never underestimate the power of your words. One small comment can change someone else’s life.
Likewise, don’t underestimate the power of your own vision. You may see things that other people can’t see about themselves—what they’re good at, what they could do. Don’t assume they know. Tell them!
And always look for opportunities to open doors for the right people.
The “Leadership Tree”
Throughout my career, I’ve tried to be the best boss and leader I can for my teams. Part of this is driven by the connection and commitment I feel to my own mentor. I’m one of the many people he mentored and opened doors for. I’m cognizant of being one branch of his “leadership tree” and try to do my part carrying that supportive approach to leadership with me. I think of how people refer to a “coach tree” when a football coach’s assistant coaches become head coaches of other teams.
I’m proud of my own “leadership tree.” I look back at the chances I’ve had to do or say something that helped someone take the next step. Sometimes it’s something big. Sometimes it’s something small. People have contacted me years later saying that it really made a difference, “When you said this to me...” or, “When you did...” Honestly, I don’t always remember what I said or did. It might be something you’re not even aware of or took for granted.
I’ve heard some people express reluctance to mentor someone who might end up “doing better than them.” I understand where this is coming from—competition, ego, and jealousy are real and powerful motivators. But, I think this looks at things the wrong way. If a mentor “surpasses” you, that’s a reflection of the things you were able to say or do for them. It’s a reflection of your own ability to make a difference and do good in the world.
True leadership is being able to say, “When you get better, I get better too. When you help people, I help people too.”
Goodness knows we need as many people as we can going out and doing good things!
Ask yourself:
Who’s in your leadership tree?
Who have you nudged in the right direction this week?
How are you showing up each day?
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About The Author
Emily Sander is an ICF-certified leadership coach with more than 15 years of experience in the business world and the author of Hacking Executive Leadership. She’s been featured in several print publications, online articles, and podcasts, including CEO Today Magazine, Leading to Fulfillment, and Leadership Powered by Common Sense.
Emily has a passion for helping business leaders reach their full potential. Go here to read her story from seasoned executive to knowledgeable coach. If you want to send Emily a quick message, then visit her contact page here.