Pet Peeve: “?” Emails (and Some Better Alternatives)
We’ve all been there. You write someone an email. They write back. You make a mental note to follow up with them as soon as you get a minute - but then work gets a little crazy.
You are called into a meeting. Your boss needs an urgent report. A coworker has an emergency and requires your assistance. A client calls and asks you to come to their office ASAP.
Eventually, the dust settles and you can finally return to your desk. You pull up your inbox, ready to respond to the email thread, only to find the other person has sent you a follow-up message:
“?”
That’s it. That’s the entire message. Just a question mark.
Now, there are a few situations in which a “?” email may be somewhat valid. For example, you may be able to excuse the other person if their computer was on fire and they accidentally hit the "?" key and "send" button while trying to put it out.
In pretty much every other scenario, however, a “?” email is just annoying and rude (although, admittedly, it's still significantly less rude than a "??????" message).
None of us are perfect, though. I know I’ve sent my fair share of “?” messages during my career. But now, it’s time for all of us to become more effective communicators.
So, the next time you are tempted to send the dreaded question mark, consider using one of the following alternatives instead:
“Friendly inbox bump.” (A little passive-aggressive, but better than a question mark!)
“Just sending a quick follow-up on this.”
“Following up on this. Do you have any updates? Thanks for any info!”
“Sorry for all the emails, I’m just super excited about this. Let me know once you have more info.”
“Sorry to chase you, but management is making this a priority. If you have any info or updates on this, that would be great!”
“Hey, sorry to be a pain. Any word on this? I’m just following up because [insert reason here.]”
These messages are not just more polite than a “?” email - they also help the reader understand why you are following up. This context may encourage them to prioritize your request.
So, let’s say goodbye to “?” emails and hello to more thoughtful responses. We’ll all be better for it!
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About The Author
Emily Sander is an ICF-certified leadership coach with more than 15 years of experience in the business world and the author of Hacking Executive Leadership. She’s been featured in several print publications, online articles, and podcasts, including CEO Today Magazine, Leading to Fulfillment, and Leadership Powered by Common Sense.
Emily has a passion for helping business leaders reach their full potential. Go here to read her story from seasoned executive to knowledgeable coach. If you want to send Emily a quick message, then visit her contact page here.