What to do when someone tells you "Don't take it personally"?
I have a love-hate relationship with the phrase, “Don’t take it personally.”
On one hand, it tells people to stop caring about the things that are important to them. It derides them for being passionate and investing in something. That’s never a good thing.
On the other hand, however, it’s definitely possible to get too emotionally involved in a project or initiative - to get too close to the problems and the personalities involved.
When this happens, we tend to lose sight of the bigger picture. We abandon our tried-and-tested processes and procedures and begin making raw, knee-jerk decisions.
In moments like this, being told to step back is actually helpful. It can serve as a reminder that zooming out and putting yourself outside the situation is often the most effective way to find solutions that benefit everybody.
When we separate the problem from the people in this way, we can ask ourselves questions like these:
If a friend or colleague presented me with this situation, what information would I need to know before I could advise them?
What is making the people involved in this situation behave a certain way?
Are their emotions or actions relevant to the situation? Or should I temporarily disregard them in an effort to find a solution that works for everyone?
If I did not feel the need to appease people, what would be the best path forward?
So, the next time somebody tells you not to take something so personally, ask yourself, are they trying to kill your passion? Or are they suggesting you take a step back to find a better solution?
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About The Author
Emily Sander is an ICF-certified leadership coach with more than 15 years of experience in the business world and the author of Hacking Executive Leadership. She’s been featured in several print publications, online articles, and podcasts, including CEO Today Magazine, Leading to Fulfillment, and Leadership Powered by Common Sense.
Emily has a passion for helping business leaders reach their full potential. Go here to read her story from seasoned executive to knowledgeable coach. If you want to send Emily a quick message, then visit her contact page here.