Giving and receiving feedback can be one of the toughest things to do in the workplace, but it’s an absolutely critical skill for leading high-performing teams. 

I found this book extremely helpful. I included it on my 2023 Top 10 Books for Leaders.

Radical Candor is based on the premise that building strong, trusting relationships with direct reports is one of the keys to effective leadership. You’ve got to be able to tell people how they’re doing, both the good and the bad, without demoralizing or beating around the bush. It’s that sweet spot between being too blunt and being too reserved.  Mutual trust and respect help create an environment where the culture of feedback is natural.

Throughout the book, you’ll find loads of tactical applications and practical examples for delivering effective feedback, building strong relationships, and becoming a kick-ass boss.

This blog outlines the key concepts found in the book.

The Origins of Radical Candor

Kim Scott is a former Silicon Valley executive at some of the top technology companies: Google, Apple, Twitter, Dropbox. In the introduction, she outlines why she came to write the book:

“I sidestepped the difficult but necessary part of being a boss: telling people clearly and directly when their work wasn’t good enough. I failed to create a climate in which people who weren’t getting the job done were told in time to fix it.”

In Scott’s experience, this had negative consequences. Namely, she saw resentment and anger build both within herself as a leader, and within her team. She caught herself thinking that an underperforming team member was simply bad at their job, rather than giving them the opportunity to fulfill their potential. She found her team wondering why such poor work was acceptable.

There had to be a better way. Scott took some time to reflect on her own work and experiences, and the moments and relationships that had shaped her. She offers a telling anecdote. After Scott gave a presentation, Sheryl Sandberg tried to offer some constructive feedback. When Scott waved her off dismissively...

“Sheryl laughed. ‘When you do that thing with your hand, I feel like you’re ignoring what I’m telling you. I can see that I am going to have to be really, really direct to get through to you. You are one of the smartest people I know, but saying ‘um’ so much makes you sound stupid. The good news is a speaking coach can really help with the ‘um’ thing. I know somebody who would be great. You can definitely fix this.’ She went on to recommend a speaking coach.”

Looking back on this moment, Scott noted how Sheryl gave feedback immediately. She saw how Sandberg cared personally, because she knew it would affect Scott’s reputation at Google. She didn’t make it personal by saying, “makes you sound stupid,” instead of “you are stupid. She offered tangible help by connecting her with a coach.

Reflecting on this lesson and others, Scott developed the concept of Radical Candor.

What is Radical Candor?

Radical Candor is a simple idea. There are two sides to Radical Candor: 

1. The first dimension is caring personally 

2. The second dimension is challenging directly 

Caring personally is about seeing your team members as human beings and truly keeping their best interests in mind. Scott goes into great detail here:

“Caring personally is about doing the things you already know how to do. It’s about acknowledging that we are all people with lives and aspirations that extend beyond those related to our shared work.

It’s about finding time for real conversations; about getting to know each other at a human level; about learning what’s important to people; about sharing with one another what makes you want to get out of bed in the morning and go to work - and what has the opposite effect.”

Challenging directly is about providing feedback right away and in a way that’s actionable and specific. It’s a way of showing that you care enough to want people to grow. 

Another key aspect of challenging directly is making it a two-way street. Be a good boss and lead by example. You should be open and honest with your team, and you should expect they’ll be open and honest with you, too. Here’s what Scott has to say:

“Challenging others and encouraging them to challenge you helps build trusting relationships because it…1. Shows you care enough to point out both the things that aren't going well and those that are 2. You are willing to admit when you're wrong and that you are committed to fixing mistakes that you or others have made”

Radical Candor is when you care personally and challenge directly.

What Radical Candor Is NOT

Scott makes a few quick notes of caution to help illustrate Radical Candor. 

Radical Candor is not...

1. An excuse to “front stab” someone or go to town on them (remember, it’s not Radical Candor if you don’t care personally)

2.  An invitation to nit-pick

3. Schmoozing

4. Endless extroversion that exhausts the introverts on your team or wears you out if you happen to be an introvert

The Four Quadrants of Caring and Challenging

Scott uses a simple framework to examine related behaviors that you ought to keep an eye out for and avoid. What does it look like when leaders challenge directly without caring personally, and vice versa?

Three related leadership quadrants: Obnoxious Aggression, Manipulative Insincerity, and Ruinous Empathy. Let’s break these down a little.

Obnoxious Aggression

Obnoxious aggression is giving feedback without showing that you care. Scott describes it as the second best thing you can do, which, “explains the advantage that assholes seem to have in the world.” While people tend to prefer the challenging jerk to the too-nice softie, Scott says, “When bosses belittle employees, embarrass them publicly, or freeze them out, their behavior falls into the quadrant.” 

Manipulative Insincerity

Manipulative insincerity is when you don’t care enough about the person to challenge them directly. In other words, you care more about yourself than the other person.

Scott says, “guidance that is Manipulative Insincerity rarely reflects what the speaker actually thinks; rather, it's an attempt to push the other person's emotional buttons in return for some personal gain. 'He'll be happy if I tell him I liked his stupid presentation, and that will make my life easier in the long run, though I really need to find someone to replace him.’”

Leaders doing this might be “too focused on being liked or think they can gain some sort of political advantage by being fake - or when they are just too tired to care or argue any more.” This can actually be a selfish act, where you’re too focused on what someone cares about you, rather than having their own growth in mind.

Ruinous Empathy

Ruinous empathy is avoiding any and all tension or discomfort in an effort to be nice. In this scenario, people might know they’ve done something wrong...but they don’t know exactly what, so they can’t do anything about it. Even worse, they might not know they’ve done anything wrong at all, creating more harm to themselves and the company in the long run.

Scott shares a Russian anecdote in the book,

“…about a guy who has to amputate his dog’s tail but loves him so much that he cuts it off an inch each day, rather than all at once. His desire to spare the dog pain and suffering only leads to more pain and suffering. Don’t allow yourself to become that kind of boss!” 

This kind of boss means well, but they’re not helping anybody. It can handicap your team, and keep anyone from getting or asking for the criticism they need. Bosses might also mistakenly believe they can use Ruinous Empathy to make friends with their team, and then switch to Radical Candor later on.

Radical Candor

Combining caring enough about the person to tell them something meant to help them, given in good faith.

“Your Fly is Down”

A good rule of thumb to keep yourself in the Radical Candor quadrant is pretend like you’re telling someone their fly is down.

• Obnoxious Aggression shouts, “Look his fly is down!”

• Manipulative Insincerity keeps silent, worried about their own feelings

• Ruinous Empathy keeps silent, worried about the other person’s feelings

• Radical Candor whispers, “Your fly is down.”

Getting the Right People in the Right Roles

Scott says the first step to Radical Candor is understanding what motivates each person on your team. Your team members may all have different motivations. That’s a good thing! Your job as a boss is about growth management. Scott describes two types of people you might have on your team: rockstars and superstars:

• “Rock stars are solid as rock. …the rock stars love their work. They have found their groove. They don’t want the next job if it will take them away from their craft.”

• “Superstars on the  other hand need to be challenged and given new opportunities to grow constantly.”

Superstars have a steep growth trajectory.

Rock stars have a more gradual growth trajectory.

But rock stars are just as important to a team’s performance as superstars.

Stability is just as important as growth.

Knowing who’s on your team and balancing their needs and motivations is key.

At the same time, don’t put anybody in a box. People change and evolve over time. Scott says it really well, “Make sure that you are seeing each person on your team with fresh eyes every day. People evolve, and so your relationships must evolve with them. Care personally; don’t put people in boxes and leave them there.”

Candid Relationships

It bears repeating that relationships are at the heart of the Radical Candor approach. The first one you need to investigate is your relationship with yourself. Scott adds her own emphasis to a common refrain: “You can’t give a damn about others if you don’t give a damn about yourself.”

What do you need to bring your best self to work, and bring that same best self back home again? Instead of putting up a façade of a fake “work self”, recognize the fullness of your own humanity, and do what you need to do to nurture it.

Relationships with your team come next. “There can only be real trust when people feel free at work.” Cultivating this in an organic way can and should take time.

One way is to spend time with people outside of work. Have a picnic, take a walk. Meet their families. At the same time, be careful with team functions. Obligatory and organic do not go hand in hand. Everyone knows the golden rule. Take it a step further with the platinum rule: treat others how they would like to be treated.

Candid Guidance

Once you’ve set a foundation of relationships with yourself and your team (and keeping in mind that those relationships need ongoing attention), your ability to guide your team will flourish. Your goal in applying Radical Candor is to set the tone that everyone should expect and embrace honest feedback that helps everyone do their best work. Again, start with yourself. Ask for feedback. Set an example. Embrace discomfort and reward criticism. “Thank you! I’ll do better next time.” “I know, it’s a problem. Can I ask you to help me stop interrupting?”

Guidance can come in all forms.

Impromptu guidance that focuses on the situation, behavior, and impacts can be especially effective. Instead of yelling “asshole!” at someone who grabs your parking space, try something like, “I’ve been waiting for that spot for five minutes, and you zipped in front of me. Now, I’m going to be late.”

By focusing on the situation, behavior, and impact instead of simply reacting, you give the other person a chance to understand and respond. This kind of impromptu guidance is “measured in the listener’s ear, not the speaker’s mouth,” so always keep your audience in mind. 

Gender politics can play a role in how guidance is given or received. Unconscious bias and hyper-awareness of gender can tilt the scales. Women are expected to be likable and don’t want to come off as abrasive. Men may pull punches when providing feedback to women.

Radical candor asks us to work through these things:

• Women should demand criticism: “I’m worried you’re so concerned about my feelings that you’re hesitant to give me the feedback I need to improve.”

• Men should be prepared with a simple ask: “I’m trying to be radically candid, and I want to check in and see how my feedback is landing.” 

Avoiding Boredom and Burnout

Applying Radical Candor can help you tap into your team’s motivation to avoid boredom and burnout. Have career conversations with them. Work on personal development plans.

This is a great way to identify motivators, such as financial independence, environmentalism, working hard, attaining a leadership position. You might have a team member saving money for their spirulina ranch, while another is seeking effective management experience. Understanding these motivations can help you connect activities at work to larger goals, and give more effective performance reviews. 

If you’re practicing Radical Candor, performance reviews shouldn’t be a surprise. Your team should know where they stand. But, for some people, that feedback they’re given might not really hit home until they see a low grade. Here are three conversations you can use to spark connection and dig into motivation as part of your performance reviews:

1. The Life Story

2. The Crazy Ass Dreams

3. The 18-Month Plan

The Life Story

Ask them about where they’ve come from. Start with kindergarten. The things they value often come to the surface in moments of change. “You dropped out of grad school after two years to work on Wall Street. Tell me more about that decision.”

They may say, “I couldn’t even afford orange juice and I just wanted to make more money.” Note to self: this person values financial independence. Or they may say, “I was bored with all the theory and looking for something tangible.” Tangible results matter to this team member.

The Crazy Ass Dreams 

Ask, “what do you want the pinnacle of your career to look like?” Brainstorm three to five dreams. This way you get out the ones they think you want to hear, plus any that are closer to their heart. Title the dreams, and list the skills needed. This is your outline for working with them to figure out how to acquire those skills.

The 18-Month Plan

Teach them to begin asking themselves the following: What do I need to learn in order to move in the direction of my dreams? How should I prioritize the things I need to learn? From whom can I learn?

Remember, as Scott puts it, that, “It’s scary to move confidently in the direction of one’s dreams. Part of your responsibility as a boss is to help people find the courage to do just that. If you do it well, there are few more rewarding jobs.”

Finally, once you’ve had these conversations, write growth plans. Include three to five bullets for each team member. Find projects or opportunities for the people who need a challenge, and do the same for the people who are fine focusing on what they’re good at.

Conclusion

Radical Candor really is an eye-opening book filled with good guidance and practical takeaways. If any of the above resonated with you, I urge you to pick up Radical Candor on Amazon. It’s made a huge difference for me personally, and I’ve been able to apply so many of Scott’s insights to my own career as a former C-Suite executive and now as a leadership coach. 

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About The Author

Emily Sander is an ICF-certified leadership coach with more than 15 years of experience in the business world and the author of Hacking Executive Leadership. She’s been featured in several print publications, online articles, and podcasts, including CEO Today Magazine, Leading to Fulfillment, and Leadership Powered by Common Sense. 

Emily has a passion for helping business leaders reach their full potential. Go here to read her story from seasoned executive to knowledgeable coach. If you want to send Emily a quick message, then visit her contact page here.