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Playing to Win: How to Be a Better Leader by Doing Good vs. Avoiding Bad

When I played sports as a kid, my coach often told me, “Play to win. Don’t play to not lose.”

At the time, I did not understand the distinction. After all, “winning” and “not losing” are the same thing, right?! 

As I matured, however, I realized there is a huge difference between these two approaches, and they almost always result in very different outcomes.

When I played basketball with a “don’t mess up” mentality, I was over-cautious. I passed up tons of opportunities to score because I was afraid to miss my shot. I was ineffective.

However, when I was all in and playing to win, I was a much more formidable opponent. I led my team by example and ended most games with an impressive collection of points and assists.

Put simply, playing to win allowed me to achieve bigger and better things.

I’m not the only one who has noticed this effect, either. I recently heard an interview with a world leader, where he discussed his safety protocols. He said he could spend his life hidden in a safe house and traveling in fully armored tanks, but he wanted to live. He wanted to serve his people, and he knew that meant going out and spending time in his community.

He wasn’t just trying to keep himself alive. He wasn’t playing to not lose. He was playing to win.

Of course, you don’t need to be a politician or a basketball player to benefit from this philosophy. Business leaders who aim to “do good” rather than merely “avoid bad” typically enjoy impressive results.

What does that distinction look like in a business setting? Well, managers who are playing to not lose frequently use phrases such as, “Let’s just try not to screw it up!” and “I am just trying to get through the week without pissing anybody off!” Their main objective is to avoid rocking the boat.

Leaders who want to do good, on the other hand, go out of their way to try to improve their team and do what’s best for the organization as a whole. They say things like, "We need to do a round of layoffs now to keep the company afloat" and, "I'm going to promote this person even though they may not be the most obvious candidate." Put simply, they make tough decisions, even if it makes them unpopular, and they are not afraid to stand up for their beliefs when necessary.

So, which approach do you take to business leadership? Are you playing to win? Or are you just trying to avoid the bad? 

If you fall into the latter category and need help shifting your mindset, let’s talk!

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About The Author

Emily Sander is an ICF-certified leadership coach with more than 15 years of experience in the business world and the author of Hacking Executive Leadership. She’s been featured in several print publications, online articles, and podcasts, including CEO Today Magazine, Leading to Fulfillment, and Leadership Powered by Common Sense. 

Emily has a passion for helping business leaders reach their full potential. Go here to read her story from seasoned executive to knowledgeable coach. If you want to send Emily a quick message, then visit her contact page here.